I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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