I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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