btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
