you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
