just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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