its not stalking. its research.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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