at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
