You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
