I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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