Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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