The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
