I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
