I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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