Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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