the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
