I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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