I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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