I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize