I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Banned from zoo.
Again?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
