you guys were way drunker than both of me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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