the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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