Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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