You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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