I am puke
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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