Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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