Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
