the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
