Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
