in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my phone needs a breathalizer
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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