Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We are all done wearing pants today
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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