omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
A+ Viking dick
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
