the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
