Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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