Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize