Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
