I wish I could punch you in the face.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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