This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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