the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
