i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
