And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
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She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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