is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We talked him into tasing himself.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
