the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Where is the hickey?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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