dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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