if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
