I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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