so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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