Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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