I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
