Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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