I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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