yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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