Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think I sprained my soul last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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