i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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