Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
