i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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