Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
