I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
