Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
