I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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