that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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