She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
