She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
