the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
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