Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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