Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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