God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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