Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
