I seem to have left my pride at pride
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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