i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
