remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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