I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
